19 April 2009

Hello All,

The other day someone asked me why I was qualified to have a blog about Miami sports.

I am going to answer this question one time and one time only.

If you have an Elton John song named after you, I think you are qualified to write about Miami sports.

However, that is neither here nor there. I am here to tell you a different story today.

Two weeks ago, my friend Tim sent me a text message that was beautiful in its simplicity:

“I need you on my Budgetball team.”

Now, this would beg the normal person to ask several questions. Among them would probably be “What is Budgetball?”

However, Dan Stein plays a different game than most. I heard “ball” and “team” and decided that it would be a lovely way to spend my Saturday afternoon.

My natural response: “Boom. Roasted.”

Later that day, I did some research. It turns out Budgetball is essentially Ultimate Frisbee, only played with a volleyball instead of a Frisbee. This automatically made the sport appealing to me, as I love everything about Ultimate Frisbee (wait for it Steve) EXCEPT the Frisbee.

Now, the reason it is called “Budgetball” and not “Ultimate Frisbee for Men” (GOTCHA Steve) is because there is an elaborate budget process which influences the game. Before each of the three six minute periods that compose a game, teams select a combination of three power-ups (which cost “budget-bucks”) and sacrifices (which adds “budget-bucks” to the team’s “account”).

Essentially, power-ups give your team an advantage over the other team and sacrifices make you weaker. The goal is to win games while also maintain a budget-buck surplus, which after the championship game is reconciled and added to the point total of the final team (three bucks= one point at the end of the title game).

Here is an account of the days leading up to the tournament and Game Day itself.

Monday, April 13

Captain’s Meeting. Tim and I attend as Co-Captains. A few teams in the room pass the eyeball test. However, I cannot help but feel that we have a big advantage. After the meeting, Tim and I decide that we are going to win. This means two things: we need to cut some of our friends in order to get some playmakers and we need to strategize. I cannot describe my excitement level.

We also get told that our team name (Go Keynes) is the best of the field by the Tournament Director.

We are quickly becoming the darlings of this tournament.

Tuesday, April 14

Tim sends me the following text message: “The General who wins a battle makes many calculations in his temple ere the battle is fought.” Turns out that quote comes from Sun Tzu, who was a pretty big deal back in his day (or so I understand).

We meet up to start planning our budget strategy. For four hours. I wish I was kidding.

Wednesday, April 15

Strategy

Thursday, April 16

I was in a play. Surprisingly, I don't mess up my lines. Pencil me in for early Oscar consideration once I adapt this to a screenplay (by the way, how did Tom Hanks not win ANYTHING for Castaway?)

Friday, April 17

I call a team practice. The team that Tim and I put together looks great. And that is without the secret weapon that Tim recruited (more on this later).

Saturday, April 18

GAMEDAY!

Our first game is not until 12:45 pm. Naturally Tim and I are on the field at 9 am on the dot. We sit down at a table with two nice looking people. One is the President of the National Academy of Public Administration. This is the organization that is putting on the event.

We also meet the PR Consultant for NAPA. They love us so much they offer us bagels. They also cannot get over the fact that Tim and I have been strategizing for a week for this day. I cannot get over the fact that this is actually the National Launch of the sport and that the winner will be National Champion.

Both of these things come back up later in the day.

11:00 AM- The team has assembled at this point. Our lineup looks great. The starters break down as follows:

Offense- Mark (the secret weapon, a member of the Miami Hurricane basketball team), Tim (think Adam Morrison but smaller) and Lubby (one of the two girls who has to be on the field at all times).

Defense- Helen (captain of the Club Soccer team), Steve (Captain of the Ultimate Frisbee team) and Yours Truly (my “Interests” category on Facebook lists one thing: Winning).

Coach- Scarpa, complete with suit, clipboard and cigar (it was roughly 90 degrees on the field).

Again, this is all important.

High Noon - The NAPA PR Consultant grabs Tim and I to do some press with NPR. I am a bit of a celebrity on campus because of moments like this (as soon as I find out where this audio is being posted, you can bet it will be posted here at Stein on the Sidelines).

12:43 PM- Tim and I gather the team for some last minute advice. Scarpa leaves us with the following words of wisdom: Just Win Baby.

GAME 1

We have to play a Frat to start. Now, aside from the fact that most frats are full of tools, this is a disadvantage. These guys know each other well. They have played sports together before. And they share a love for hair gel.

However, we were ready and came out firing. I would be lying if I said we were not up 14 – 0 after the first period. We put the game on cruise, took a lot of sacrifices to gain points, and won 20-17 (not as close as that would indicate).

GAME 2 (Sweet Sixteen)

Before this game, the PR Consultant tracked me down again to tell me that we are the clubhouse favorites to win it all. This just fuels my fire.

Anyway, the second game was against Salsa Craze. This is a club of people who pride themselves on Salsa Dancing. I automatically dislike them.

On top of that, their captain is one of those kids who everybody has internally disliked separately for four years. Seeing him on the other side of the field just galvanized the unit.

Anyway I was pumped for this game, and it showed. During our pre-game huddle, they had the nerve to send a spy over. I looked at him, and with a straight face, uttered the following:

“I will tear you limb from limb if you do not walk away right now.”

And he did.

By the time we finally took the field for this grudge match, I had our team foaming at the mouth. We were up 13-0 three minutes into the game. They called a timeout, and I was so pumped that I sprinted to the sideline and engaged in what can only be described as an epic leaping chest bump with Scarpa.

At no point in time was this game close.

GAME 3 (Elite Eight)

Let’s just say that if there was a steroid test for this tournament some of the guys on this team probably would have failed. Let’s just say.

After the emotion of the Salsa Craze game, we came out a little flat for this game and found ourselves down 9-3 after the first period.

The game turned early in the second period, however, when Tim was TACKLED (this is a “non-contact sport”) and the referee chose to swallow his whistle. Scarpa marched to mid-field and let the ref have it before calling timeout.

After the timeout, we put together an Elway-esque comeback (sorry to all you loyal readers in Cleveland) and came back for an 18-15 win. This was easily the best game of the tournament for us, and the one that put us over the hump.

GAME 4 (Final Four)

This was a boring, slow game against a scrappy team that was playing with no substitutes. We won, and that’s about all you need to know.

GAME 5 (National Title Game)

This was really over before it started. The best comparison for the Launchpad.com team is the Monstars (you’re welcome, Tally). Not only did they average 6’2” and 220 lbs. of rock hard muscle, they also had saved an unheard of 220 budget bucks, compared to our 60. This means to start the game they were up roughly 80-20.

While we never had a shot to officially win the game in the standings, we came close to beating this team of all-stars on the field. However, every Cinderella story has to run out of luck eventually, and after a 20-17 loss, Go Keynes was no exception.

The tournament was one of my finest days at UM.

I played the entire day on a gimpy ankle and with two bad shoulders. However, my approximate final stat line looked something like this:

Interceptions: 10
Touchdown Catches: 7
Highlight Worthy Plays: 4
Epic Motivational Speeches: At least 20
Times Caught On-Camera Dancing While on the Field: Probably 50
Free T-Shirts Acquired: 3
Touchdown Passes: 3
Epic Fist Pumps: 250
50 dollar gift cards won: 1
Ceremonial “Big Checks” Now In My Apartment: 1
Interviews Given: 5

I woke up this morning and could not walk very well. I now have two bad ankles, and am sore in places I did not know existed. But it was worth it, as I can now say that I am a member of the National Runner- up Budgetball team (they actually spelled this wrong on the Big Check, but alas, I know what they meant).

The big question: did I learn anything about budgeting? Not really. But I did learn that competition brings out the best in all of us. And that is why I love sports. It unites people. It divides people, but only momentarily.

I will never trust someone that does not carry themselves well in either victory or defeat. For instance, after the game against Salsa Craze, everything I suspected to be true about their captain was verified when I literally ran after him trying to shake his hand and he would not turn around. Not classy. Inexcusable.

No matter what happens on the field, you are nothing without sportsmanship. It is the reason sports is great. You can kill each other on the field all afternoon, knowing that your counterpart is after the same thing as you. Sure, things inevitably get testy; there are always going to be rivalries and a clash of wills between competitors.

However, as soon as the whistle blows at the end of the game, you look your opponent in the eye and shake their hand.

So how does this relate to Miami football?

The event itself does not. But the take away lesson is that you are only as good as you carry yourself in high pressure situations.

Miami gained a commitment from Tavadis Glenn, the lineman from Jacksonville, over the weekend. He is a great athlete and from all reports a fine individual.

I talked about him in my last blog entry about offensive line recruits. Rivals rates him as a 4 star player.

However, things were complicated for him when he was struck by a car a few weeks ago. College football head coaches face some of the highest pressure you can imagine, and taking a chance on an injured player early in the recruiting season is the type of decision a lot of coaches are afraid to make.

Glenn, who has never even set foot on the UM campus, gave his word to the ‘Canes because Randy Shannon stuck with him immediately following the accident.

That is called staying cool on the hottest of seats. It is how Randy Shannon conducts himself. It is a lesson that one would think is obvious, but once again this weekend I was reminded that Shannon and people like him are the exception and not the rule.

So keep this in mind sports fans. Sportsmanship is not limited to what happens between the lines. It is reflective of how you live your life.

Always guard the inbounds passer.